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Don’t Keep Score!

Unlike sports, we do not always have to keep score with the things we do for others. Have you heard this line before? 
“Hey, I helped you….now you have to help me.”

It’s tough to keep track and know if it is even or balanced….does it have to be? In the world of life and business, many of us do other things for other people, all the time, but we don’t necessarily expect anything in return.

don't keep scoreI have often referred to the LRT concept. Like, Respect and Trust. This becomes a guiding principle for me and X5 in terms of how we build relationships in the Edmonton business community.
It is not about payback or about you scratching my back and I will scratch yours..

The theory of, “the more you give…the more you get” is very true….in most cases! If we go on the sports analogy for a moment, let’s always play with the assumption that we end in a tie, even though that may not always be the case.

“Keeping score of old scores and scars, getting even and one-upping, always make you less than you are.”
-Malcolm Forbes

As many of you know, I am a fan of Dr. Stephen Covey’s work…..specifically, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Habit #4, is titled, “Think Win-Win. I like the concept behind this, and if we apply it to the “Don’t keep score” philosophy, it can mean a few things. First of all, if someone in our world wins…….we win. Well, that is not always true, especially if you are looking for instant gratification. What’s key here, is that while you did not win immediately, you didn’t lose either. You helped someone out and feel great because of it. They potentially had more immediate benefit than you…..No big deal, right??

As I see it, if you conduct yourself more like this it will usually balance out……but remember, you are not keeping score anyway! It’s about reciprocity (A reciprocal condition or relationship)….paying it forward. That is what a great relationship is all about. Be it business or personal. If I helped you more today, I do not expect that you will help me more tomorrow. If I did, I would not get the same joy or satisfaction in helping you. I do realize that some people don’t think that way. The more this type of play occurs, I think that both parties will ultimately lose. If you keep score and feel that over a period of time you are living with a huge “give more than you get deficit”, you may simply quit the game……..this may not serve anyone’s best interest.
photo credit: AMERICANVIRUS via photopin cc

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