Guest blog by Idris Fashan
As many who have worked with X5 may be familiar with this principle, I decided to do some deeper research and unpack each of the elements of LRT—the psychology, the effect it has on people and the interrelationship between Like, Respect and Trust.
So, here we are. The final of the LRT posts—the big one! The one that makes sense of everything else and lays things out cleanly and clearly.
There is just one problem… there isn’t a single approach that works for everyone universally.
The more I spoke with X5 Mavens, community members and businesspeople in the “know, like, trust,” the more varied the perspectives on how they work together and how people use them to move forward.
So what I’ve decided to do instead is a list of approaches that others have shared with me, techniques and tactics that have helped people. LRT starts within, so here’s how others became better listeners, truer partners and stronger community members.
The Like List
(Getting what you want involves connecting with others as they work to achieve what they want—and helping them.)
- Care about others, never assume where success is hiding.
- Be friendly, even if you are an introvert—especially if you are an introvert.
- Listen to people, and start meetings, coffees and catch-ups by listening to (and asking) how they feel.
- Ask more questions than you answer.
- Be thankful for every introduction and listen intently to how people describe you—this is the parts of you that stand out.
- Send handwritten notes of thanks and appreciation for acts of kindness or referrals.
- Ask to be introduced to new people, not just business prospects. This might get you in the door to places you would never otherwise think would be available.
The Respect List
(Respect works much like a boomerang: It demands that we pay it forward, and it is only through a consistent expression of respect for others that people will enjoy the merits of its return.)
- Leave your judgements at every door. They slow down any chance of connecting with people. Concentrate more on listening and understanding.
- Ask “why” more and more often. You can deepen understanding quickly, not by prodding for answers, but asking about possibilities.
- Respect is given. It cannot be commanded, demanded, or taken from someone. It has no form when you grab for it, but it’s like liquid gold when it’s given to you.
- When making decisions, consider how each option affects or influences those around you. So many small decisions lead to big
changes, we sometimes forget how much influence we have in the world around us. Be conscious of that every day.
- Remember, “Respect is what you show when your fans aren’t watching.”
- Earn your worth by seeing the value of others. You do this, and respect will be ever-present in your life.
The Trust List
(To accelerate the process of earning trust, you have to step back from the transactional and instead concentrate on listening intently, and bringing positive mutual benefit to the relationship itself, not just the people involved.)
- Trust is one of the first emotions we learn, and how you handle it can reveal a lot about your upbringing and experiences.
Reflect on how you trust/mistrust others and try to find patterns. If you find them, you can change or improve them.
- Trust feeds on patience and grows on a bed of consistency. We can only harvest the fruits of trusting relationships once we’ve
sown the seeds of mutual benefit, likability and respect.
- Trust must be nurtured, because when it’s broken, it hurts—on some level.
- Trust can never be forced, and doing so will ensure you never get it.
- Trust is so natural, much of its function is subconscious. Spend more time listening and watching people’s responses when they communicate with you. Never ask them why, but ask yourself why they respond how they do.
- Create a trusting environment by trusting others first.
These are just a handful of different approaches people take to improve and deepen the Like, Respect and Trust factor in their business and their lives.
I learned a few new things to ponder and try, and I recommend that we all think about how we bring LRT into our world. I welcome any additions to the list or any feedback on what might be missing.
Thanks so much for reading and sharing!